…And now we hear from a spokesperson for the Mosquito Council on how Covid affected last year’s Summer and thoughts about this upcoming Summer:
“Thank you. I know Covid was difficult for humans, and a few of you died, and while I’m not minimizing that, it pales in comparison with the trillions of our babies who were never born…Never born because you all stayed in last summer, making you much more difficult to find and feast on, for it is your blood that allows us to make more mosquitos. You may notice that there are fewer of us around this year. That too is down to Covid.
“Are you looking forward to this Summer?”
“Oh my yes. This is our opportunity to feed and grow when all you people decide that you can’t stand being cooped up any longer and go outside- especially the woods…Go for a hike, sweat a little and wear short sleeves because it’s hot. Don’t worry, we’ll take care of the rest!”
“So your numbers are down this year, because of our Covid self isolation?”
“Oh yes. We have extensive statistical evidence. The data show that there is a direct correlation between staying home and our precipitious drop in birthrate for 2020 and so far 2021. Across the board, in the US markets, our population has been almost halved. We need this Summer to be hot. If it’s hot, it’ll be great. Another two or three years like this and we’d have serious problems. We’d be facing extinction in certain areas, I’m sure.
“Well, there you have it folks. A spokesperson from the Mosquito Council is saying go on, go outside have fun…and don’t wear “Deet”, right?
“Oh yeah. Deet is nasty stuff. You don’t want that!”
“Well thank you for your time, and for bringing us the mosquitos’s side of the story.
“It’s always a pleasure. Thanks for having me.”
